When your current path doesn’t lead to your destination

Nearly three weeks ago, I walked out of my job for the last time. Without having a back up plan in place, another job to go to, I put my notice in with confidence and worked my butt off for my last 30 days.

Being the Admissions and Marketing Director at a skilled nursing facility is no walk in a park, not even Jurassic Park. It’s a beast. Yet, despite my hatred for admission agreements and all things insurance, I was good at what I did. And better yet, I enjoyed it!

But, despite the fact I was good at my job, I still have had four of them in the past two years - resulting in my resume looking less like a historical career and more like a list of one hit wonders. But let me explain:

My first facility, I basically conned my way into. I knew I had the skills to do the job, the ability to learn what I didn’t know (with the right teacher) - I just didn’t have the formal education or experience. The facility was low-rated with a bad reputation and I used their struggle to fill the position (it had been open for a month) to my career growth advantage. It worked, I was hired on the spot.

My transferable skills came in handy as I learned the ropes of the role. I knew in time I was going to be great at it. My problem? My leadership. While I sat in my administrator’s office, chatting about marketing plans, she told a story about moving her son into his college dorm over the weekend. Sounds great, having a relationship with your boss where she tells you about life after work, right? No. The story was about how they didn’t want to do the physical work. As they walked down the sidewalk, a Black, male student was walking towards them in the opposite direction. She laughed as she quoted her son, basically saying they should make a slave out of the boy.

I limited my interactions as much as I could, I didn’t want to leave my job - like I said, I loved what I was doing. When my stepfather’s cancer brought him to end of life, I asked if I could spend one day a week (my planning day) at his bedside. Not to provide care - he had aides for that. But to be there, just to have that time. I would still be able to do my job 100%. I was denied. Family is everything to me - so in my notice went. He passed three days later and I couldn’t retract.

My second facility - chaotic, but fine. It just wasn’t for me. The role focused strictly on admissions, taking me out of the marketing aspect that I loved. When my administrator transferred to another building and asked me to come with her and do the marketing, it took two months for me to say yes. I knew what it would do to my resume…

In those two months, I craved being in the community, networking, designing flyers and social media graphics - I finally caved.

In six months, I helped rebuild the reputation of a facility that was on watch from the state, admitting 40-50 new residents in that time. I built a name for myself in a county I wasn’t familiar with, and began finding my groove as an Admissions and Marketing Director - finally.

Then I got fired. The third of six department heads to be let go. All of us were given the same reason - “It’s just not working out.” I didn’t how 2-3 new admissions per week just wasn’t working out, until I realized that the Vice President of Operations was in the hot seat with her own boss. She fired the entire team in an attempt to save her own job - which she ultimately lost a few weeks later.

It was okay, I had an interview scheduled that afternoon. Our maintenance director, who had been fired the week before had given my name out during an interview and the administrator called me before I could even apply. I showed up for the interview early and had a new job two hours later.

I hit the ground running, starting the following Tuesday.

Ultimately, though I found success, the position wasn’t a great fit. The commute was horrendous. I gained 20 pounds from the stress. And within a few months I developed a Monday through Friday blood pressure problem, comically blamed on poor corporate leadership by my administrator. I’m just not willing to go on blood pressure medicine for a job.

I submitted my resignation and dropped five pounds within a week. My blood pressure stopped spiking.

As I began announcing my upcoming departure to those I often network with, they’d ask where I was going. Shrugging my shoulders and saying “I dunno!” is a bad look for the facility! Though it was the truth, I was also dabbling with the idea of starting my own marketing service.

The idea was met with excitement and I felt confident in the option.

Until I didn’t.

And here we are.

My first two weeks were spent cleaning, crocheting, gardening, and breathing.

And that is a line of shit.

Yes, I did those things. But, while I was doing those things - I was talking myself out of starting my own business.

I was feeding the self-limiting beliefs that have held me back from this goal for ten years - yes TEN years!

My third week off work has been a little more panic-driven. How am I going to pay bills without a job? I’ve feverishly submitted my resume to company after company, knowing they are going to see a train wreck on paper.

Then it happened. A doom scroll turned opportunity. And while it was just a $25 growth opportunity, it shut the door to the limiting beliefs and reminded me that - I can.

I hope you’ll follow along as this journey unfolds!

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